SpyderClone's Xanga

What I've Been Up To

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 02:45:07 GMT

The screams of adulation that happened when the highlighting stage was done were loud enough to send my brother scampering from the room in fright.....

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Tue, 22 Aug 2006 02:32:50 GMT

So if I've been given free will and humanity as my gifts, does that mean I can demand things? Does free will mean that I'm entitled to things? I'd certainly like to think so.

I'd like to think that I can demand whatever the hell I like, and that I better get it too. I'd like to think that I can set the rules, and that God had better get out of my way.

And then I almost puke after playing soccer, whatta CROCK. Me, all powerful? I can't even hold my lunch down.

Human beings can be so arrogant.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 06:49:04 GMT

Do the words, "pissed off" mean anything? I've had it with this week! I've missed or botched two very important days, I can't pass a day without almost COLLAPSING WHERE I STAND, Thursday I thought I was going to die I felt so beat up, and now I can't sleep, regardless of what I do to myself to get me to sleep! God, I'm tired of asking You to help, cause I don't have the strength to hold on, nor the willpower I'm tired of being tired, I'm tired of feeling so weak that I can't even swim how I used to. It feels as if I'm becoming an old man before I'm even TWENTY! C'mon, God, give me a break, I'm tired of trying to pass these stupid tests. Yes, I know I'm weak, I know have so little faith! I know that! Thanks for the info on small and insignificant I am. I can't even control my own body, nevermind my mind. Speaking of which, it won't rest. It's too active, I guess. this means I'll stay up all night since I CAN'T REST!

I'm tired of second guessing myself, and for feeling like there's nothing to put myself into. Everything right now feels so EMPTY, so hollow. I'm drained, God. I've had enough. How am I supposed to resist Satan when you drain my body, which drains my mind, which drains my soul? How can I turn to You in the noise of my mind and pierce it when I don't have the strength to?? Oh, as I remember AFTER the fact, YOU had that strength, and I panicked. MOre weakness that HAS to go. I realize that to change is to be human, but maybe I'm tired of being human! Maybe I've had enough of this curse of free will that most find a blessing! I really have had it.

All of a sudden I remember why I asked God to just kill me when I found out I had this thing again. Cause it would attack my mind as well. Nothing is safe from this damn thing at all. Don't worry, guys, I'm not backsliding or anything, but SERIOUSLY. This is stupid God!

Well, thank you for the lesson tonight, I suppose. It feels odd, but You only do well by me.

I'm tired, God. Knock me out.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 21:42:40 GMT

Here's Saint Anthony with his base highlights in. I've started to learn this is the most amorhpous of the stages. This kind of indicates where the highlights are going but doesn't actually indicate it fully.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 13:10:02 GMT

So Sunday was an ideal day for me, I went to church, and then went to a friend's birthday party. At the party my body did a lymes crash, and his parents had to drive me and my car back home. The next day my body lymes crashed and I couldn't go to another friend's baptism, chrismation, and holy eucharist! Frustrated? No, of course not...

I'm feeling better this morning, and I hope it lasts. I need to work badly.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Sat, 12 Aug 2006 18:15:26 GMT

The beginnings of Saint Anthony of the Desert, a man in Egypt who helped jumpstart the monastic movement, for my little brother John.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Sat, 12 Aug 2006 17:11:18 GMT

Me sick. Ack.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Sat, 05 Aug 2006 18:21:09 GMT

Last night I received what I had been begging from God the last two years . I have Sarah Calvino's address. To those who know, that's really really important to me.

Finally I can write her, and find out how what she's been up to. God is incredible, ain't He?

Of course, my question is, why now? Why after two long years of wondering if I could ever hear from her? Why now?

I won't take too long to quetsion it, trust me.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 22:37:21 GMT

Feelin' pretty good right now, just sitting at a library.

God is good all the time.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 23:31:28 GMT

I'm going to be posting highlight pics from the Rally with my comments..... this is the whole group.

From left to right first row: Elise,Chaleigh, TJ, and Danny

Second row: Nobody, Heidi, Richy, Andrew's leg

Third row: Ray, Katie, the rest of Andrew, Father Mike (Smokin' Gunther!), Martha

Top: Mike and Don

Hey, since when is me being strangled NOT funny? C'mon, guys, think about this one now.

Richy with THE hat. He's found ultimate bliss....

Having fun Elise and Paul? (evil grin)

Don't ask don't ask don't ask don't ask don't ask don't ask don't ask don't ask don't ask don't ask don't ask...FINE, go ahead and ask!

Freaky deer in the headlights! Run from Martha!!!!

If only I had turned my fingers just a bit more to the left, and then the bunny ears would have been obvious...

Shocking revelation anyone? Apparently.

Do NOT piss Heidi off. She's good at finding sensitive spots in the ribs.....*squirms*

Aaaaww...how cute.

These are personally my favorite pics. I hope they give a good rep for what happened, and who my nutty friends from across the country are, even though not all are represented here. I love them all very dearly and hope to see them soon.